Tired of Politics Dividing Us? Do the Hard Work Yourself.
Let’s be honest with ourselves: we don’t really want to have the kind of political discussions that are necessary to build bridges between the political sides.
I certainly don’t! And it’s little wonder. Politics is a testy subject, so just by bringing it up we’re already entering a mine-field known to ruin family gatherings and end relationships. It also feels so good to blast our political opponents with a witty retort and a mic-dropping one liner. Engaging in actual political discussion that brings people together is hard work and is not nearly as fun.
So why do it? What’s the payoff for speaking when silence is easier and more gratifying?
Well, for one thing, I think we may be surprised how often we find that the people around us really don’t know the things we consider basic information. I often am. The other day I made an off hand joke about a politician’s behavior — behavior I thought everyone was familiar with — only for my friend to be genuinely confused by my comments. I think we know we live in media bubbles, but still sometimes forget that means that people don’t know the same things we know. We can share news stories on our social media pages, but our approach will be much more personal and impactful in a conversation.
More importantly, though, our current methods of political debate aren’t working. Allowing political pundits and talking heads to be the face of perspectives and shape the dialogue isn’t bringing us together, it’s pulling us apart. Putting aside whether what any one thought leader says is true, more often than not their tone and rhetoric is dividing us. It’s hard to blame them — it’s their job, in a way, to speak forcefully and say sometimes inflammatory things. It’s not their job necessarily to know the individuals in their audience and speak to them from the heart. That’s the heavy lifting and it’s the kind of work that can only be done in relationship.
I know my friends. I know my family. That knowledge can make relationships really difficult sometimes, because we know how to get under each other’s skin. But it’s also an asset. It means that I can encourage them when they’re having a bad day and that I know what kind of joke to crack to make them laugh. It also means that I know what matters to them and what makes them angry. It means I know better than anyone how to shape my approach to build understanding and find common ground with them. A neighbor or casual acquaintance is more difficult, but the personal touch is still there, much more so than between that acquaintance and the face on the TV.
We’re dividing ourselves down silly lines based on what the pundits yell into a microphone or pound into a keyboard and we’re digging ourselves deeper into the trenches by allowing them to hurt our friends and neighbors with verbal attacks that leave everyone defensive. We want to just share the rants we agree with and sit back, like that’s all the work that needs to be done. I see it in myself. I’ll listen to something that speaks to me and think “Yeah! I just wish so-and-so” (who invariably would vehemently disagree with what I’m listening to) “could hear this!” But building consensus takes actual work and it’s hard and requires mental and emotional discipline. We can’t leave that kind of hard work to a pundit. If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself.
This country belongs to us, not the political class. And if we want it to get better, we need to make it better ourselves, however uncomfortable that process may be.
